Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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