I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
