I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
