So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
