Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
