birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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