i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
