it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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