I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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