You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
