It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
