if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
