We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This baby is an asshole
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
