I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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