i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
