Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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