It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Randomize
