But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
