I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just want nice things and good sex
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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