I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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