sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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