I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I got inside last night via doggy door
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
