I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
