I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just google imaged poop.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
