Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
