You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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