That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
