Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize