So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
