my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
