Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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