I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
