haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just google imaged poop.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
