I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
