You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
