Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
