So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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