I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
