Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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