My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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