Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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