hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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