1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
