What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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