Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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