Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he shaved USA in his pubs
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
