We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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