Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
