You made me cry and you don't even care
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
