my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
